How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
