Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
