Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
