oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
