Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
