We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
