you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
