I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
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