Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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