you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
