Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
