oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
