everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
