Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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