we have officially lost it.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
