Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
