Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
