I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
