Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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