HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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