You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
