You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
