K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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