My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
