if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
