I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
