took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
