Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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