If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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