Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
