I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
