He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
