New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
