I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My balls are so social today.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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