You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just found puke in my bra..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
