only you would photoshop your dick
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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