i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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