first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
