he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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