you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
