white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you had me at cake vodka
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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