The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
