I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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