I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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