I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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