dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
