butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
