yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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