I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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