she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
