This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
